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Something Beutiful
Jun. 7th, 2003 01:17 pmThis entry really doesn't have any relevance to anybody except for 2 people. So, if you aren't one of those two, (and it'll be pretty obvious who they are in a second) go away.
I really want to. I really really do. I just love her so incredibly much, and every day I see her I find a new way to love her. I find a new reason to love her. But I'm just so afraid of what would happen if we did it. I'm afraid it would mess up the realtionship we have (in spite of how imposible that seems), I'm afraid I would do something wrong and offend her...most importantly I'm afraid of getting caught. We came so close to doing it yesterday (at least I thought we did) and I would've gone for it had I not been so damn paranoid of my mom bursting in and catching us. I just...I love her so much. Every time I look into her eyes. Every time I see her face. Every time I hear her voice I just know that this is the most wonderful and incredible thing to ever happen to me. I don't want to mess this up. I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of this whole thing. It simply scares the bejeezus out of me. I hope she knows how much I love her. I hope she knows how much I want this to happen but how terrified I am of it. It's the unknown! It's that last gigantic step that I have to take. It's...I don't know. I need to boggle my mind about this for awhile.
The preceeding entry has been brought to you by the following: Nathan's concience, Nathan's moral upbringing, Nathan's fear of his mother, Nathan's want for something perfect, and Sprite. Image is nothing, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst. Sprite.
I really want to. I really really do. I just love her so incredibly much, and every day I see her I find a new way to love her. I find a new reason to love her. But I'm just so afraid of what would happen if we did it. I'm afraid it would mess up the realtionship we have (in spite of how imposible that seems), I'm afraid I would do something wrong and offend her...most importantly I'm afraid of getting caught. We came so close to doing it yesterday (at least I thought we did) and I would've gone for it had I not been so damn paranoid of my mom bursting in and catching us. I just...I love her so much. Every time I look into her eyes. Every time I see her face. Every time I hear her voice I just know that this is the most wonderful and incredible thing to ever happen to me. I don't want to mess this up. I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of this whole thing. It simply scares the bejeezus out of me. I hope she knows how much I love her. I hope she knows how much I want this to happen but how terrified I am of it. It's the unknown! It's that last gigantic step that I have to take. It's...I don't know. I need to boggle my mind about this for awhile.
The preceeding entry has been brought to you by the following: Nathan's concience, Nathan's moral upbringing, Nathan's fear of his mother, Nathan's want for something perfect, and Sprite. Image is nothing, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst. Sprite.
