My horroscope today...

This is a good day to take care of things around your home, Nathan. Maybe you will want to reorganize one of your rooms. You might want to move some furniture around and create a new layout. Or you could add more light to your space by installing new blinds in your windows. Don't be afraid to be a bit creative. You might need to change some of the colors and energy in your home now.

That just might be the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Normally these things are inaccurate as hell... but that's just too good.